The Problem with Dating in the Industry by Bruna Nessif

Breaking News: Dating has become quite difficult to maneuver. Oh, you already knew that? My bad.

Between trying to make an impression when there are limitless options due to the boom of dating apps and everyone’s fear of commitment because OMG what do you mean you want a title?!, many of us find ourselves questioning if real relationships even exist anymore. And although it feels like it couldn’t get any harder, I’m here to tell you it can.

If you live in Los Angeles or New York or any metropolis that has a strong entertainment influence, you know what I’m talking about. These types of cities are full of industry professionals and aspiring-somethings, which creates an entirely new beast when it comes to dating because of the difference in lifestyle.

Whether you’re in the industry yourself, or you find yourself in a situationship with someone who’s in the game, chances are you’ve experienced one of these hurdles firsthand:

 

Swapping Face Time for FaceTime: For the sake of this post, let’s use LA as the main example. It’s not easy to make a living in this city, which means if you’re out here, you’re on the grind and hustling like no other. Unfortunately, that makes it difficult to cultivate a romantic relationship, because your main boo is your career. So that means a lot of time at the office, a lot of time in the studio or on set, a lot of traveling…mainly, a lot of time away from your significant other. And although FaceTime and other technological advances help a little bit, nothing beats some skin-to-skin interaction.

Nick Jonas Isn’t the Only One Who Gets Jealous: Between thirsty social media comments, late nights at work, and constantly being around gorgeous people, jealousy is bound to creep in if you don’t have complete, 110% trust with your partner. It’s not impossible, but it takes equal effort and work from both people in the relationship to create a strong foundation so that you know none of those variables matter, because at the end of the day it’s just work. But if you’re not secure in your relationship, then it’s a wrap, and it takes initiative from both people to make that security happen..

It Really Is a Small World After All: The industry seems like this giant population, and while it is large in context, you realize it’s actually quite small when you’re in it. Everybody knows absolutely everybody, so the chances of you running into someone who’s hooked up with your significant other or vice versa is very possible, and, well, that can get awkward. If that makes you feel some type of way, then make sure to have that conversation with your partner to avoid any curve balls (but don’t punish them for what they chose to do before you got in the picture).

Burning Bridges Will Also Burn Your Career: To echo that sentiment, it’s also dangerous to get involved with someone who could potentially ruin your career if things go south. Oh, you decided to cheat on that actor guy you were dating? Well, surprise! His uncle is the casting director for your next audition. Don’t hold your breath for that call back.

Mixing Business With Pleasure May Give You the Worst Hangover of Your Life: This is such a risky line to cross. There are boundless opportunities to collaborate in the industry, and while the promise seems too tempting to turn away, personal relationships can taint a potentially great business opportunity if not approached with care. Personally, I don’t mix the two, and I make that crystal clear from day one. But it’s not always that simple. Sometimes you decide to work with your boyfriend or girlfriend, and then you end up bringing business frustrations back home. Or, the opposite can happen, and you realize you’re gaining romantic feelings for someone you’re working with (especially if you’re spending a great deal of time together), and then it’s hard to focus on the work without wondering where things can go. It’s messy, but if you gotta do it, just be careful.

The Abundance of Options: We touched on options a little bit in the beginning. You don’t have to be well-known to realize that your reach has now intensified because of the digital resources at our fingertips, but this is heightened by a gagillion when you’re in the industry. It’s not just Tinder or Twitter anymore, it’s social events, networking events and big-time interviews. It’s being a public figure, who now has a plethora of options because of the extent of your exposure. And as I always note, an abundance of options makes it that much more difficult to make a choice.

This Ridiculous Celeb Entitlement to Cheat: Nothing annoys me more than this bullshit mentality that well-known people in the industry should get a free pass to cheat just because of their klout. Get the fuck outta here. We’ve seen people make excuses for it on reality shows, “I mean, I know what I signed up for. He’s always on the road, so as long as I don’t know about it, it’s fine.” Bitch. Stop making this seem OK. It’s not. More people knowing of your existence does not give you a Get Out of Cheaterville Free card.

When the Ego Takes Over: Some healthy competition to push your partner and motivate them is cool, but this is also the land of massive egos, and with that comes very sensitive personality types. Be weary of dealing with someone who looks at your accomplishments as a threat. You want a partner who not only pushes for your success, but celebrates it. Not someone who is secretly rooting for you to fail to feel better about themselves.

So Can I Post This Pic of Us or Nah?: Sometimes you just wanna showcase your love, not because you’re trying to get a message across, but simply because you’re happy and you want to honor that special person in your life. Now, imagine dating someone who has to present a certain (single) lifestyle for their image, which then forces you to be a secret. Sorry, can’t tag them in those flower pics. Nope, that adorable photo of you guys at the beach has to stay on your camera roll. But make sure to show support and double tap on their sexy photo (just don’t read the comments). You’ll convince yourself all of this is OK because it’s their job, but over time, there’s a chance you may build resentment. You need to make a conscious decision on whether or not that fine print in the relationship is something you’re comfortable with from the jump.

Groupies: Do I really need to get in-depth on this?

Missing Those Times of Quality Time: Don’t take those casual nights in together for granted, because between work schedules, social events and traveling, they are far and few in between, and suddenly, you’ll find yourself begging for a Netflix night on the couch together with no interruptions.

When the Public Gets Personal: Unless you’re covert AF, chances are that being with someone in the industry will inherently make your once-personal life now hella public, and people (who don’t know you) love to insert their opinions and comments about your life without hesitation. It can become bothersome, and unfortunately, unavoidable in most cases, but you just have to remind yourself that social media is not real life, and focus on what is tangible.
Ready to throw up the “I’m never dating someone in the industry” flag, yet? Ha, yeah, I said that years ago, too. But the reality is when you’re in it, you’re bound to find someone who piques your interest, and just because there are different variables thrown into the mix because of the difference in lifestyle and work environment doesn’t mean you can’t find a way to navigate through them. It’s all about communication and mutual respect. What matters most is finding a partner who’s willing to ride the wave with you, through the highs and the lows, so that you know no matter what, they’re gonna meet you halfway to work out whatever inevitable obstacles come your way. And then suddenly, the problems with dating, whether they be in the industry or not, don’t seem like much of a problem anymore.

Thank you for reading! <3

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